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pain is unbearable. midol works just as good as someone stabbing my gut. losing sanity. not good. the end. cramps hurt.

05.20.06 best damn saturday of my life. who knew prom could be so much fun?

never thought i'd be able to have so much fun. i tried dancing with so many people but there were so many people to dance with, i got easily distracted. one thing for sure, while i was on the dance floor, i couldn't help but think of Tori. how i wished she was there getting freaky with us on the dance floor.

though, my day didn't start out so well in the beginning. first, my hair appointment took longer than usual, then my last-minute makeup appointment took longer than 15 minutes [like the lady had said]. and i had a picture appointment at four with scott at the auditorium. once my mother and i left the mall, it was already 3:44 and i promised my ever so patient prom date, i'd be ready by 3:30. EMBARRASSING! so i got home and rushed getting dressed and getting things ready. i arrived at Hogan at 4:15. fifteen minutes late but we still got our pictures taken.

after taking pictures i realized i left my invitation and ID-card at home, two things that were needed to get into prom. *slaps forehead* i just kept on messing up that day. so i called my mother and we were practically yelling at each other because i was stressed, so she became stressed, and when we're both stressed we start yelling...for no reason. so she got my stuff and came to hogan a bit late because we had to meet eli and chris at olive garden's. she wanted to come by just to take pictures of us before we leave.

although i must say, scott's sister, lindsey, was really really funny and she made things just a little bit better. after all the hullaballoo, scott and i made our way to dinner. after dinner, we went to chris' house for awhile and met sidney, chatted for awhile then made our way to prom.

we got there early so we waited for an hour for the prom people to get ready. it was funny because, we were one of the first people to arrive at the club house only to find ourselves at the back of the line once people could enter inside.

once everyone started dancing...YAY! so much fun, even though i did get blisters on my feet for dancing barefoot. watching eli dance his chicken dance to hiphop music was embarrassing and funny. i had fun.

then we went to the beach. i tried to look for shells to take to audri once i get the chance to visit her. i didn't find any. *sigh* i really missed her that moment when scott, eli, and i were walking down the beach. the moon and stars weren't out when i went to the beach. =... but i enjoyed it nonetheless. =D

i loved my dress, i loved my shoes [even though after 30 minutes in them i thought my feet would die], i loved my hair even though the hairstylist loved stabbing my head with a jillion bobby pins, and i loved my make up [because it didn't smudge no matter how much i sweat], i loved dancing with everyone, plus i had a very good-looking prom date. yay, the night was perfect and i was happy.

my hair still smells like hairspray. every inch of my body hurts like hell, even in places i didnt know existed...but last night was all worth it.

R.I.P AUDRI RESPICIO


i stare at her picture, the one of me and her on my cellphone. she was so alive...she was so healthy. who could've known. who could've known that God would decide to make her one of his newest angels? i laugh, a sad laugh, and smile, a sad one, when i remember her snarky comebacks. her sarcasm always made you laugh. she was tough for person with her height. never let anyone beat her down just because she was short. she always came out on top, no matter how exhausted, how hard she worked for it, she always came out on top. behind that tough little girl exterior, she's a caring and nice person.

i hope she knows how much i miss her. and i'm sorry...sorry for taking her last few moments here for granted.  i didn't worry because i trusted God to take care of her. to work one of his miracles on her. to make her better and greet us with a smile. we didn't worry because we knew she wouldn't give up without a fight. i feel so bad because we never ever got to say how much we love her so much. how much we miss her. we never got a chance to say goodbye.  and how much it hurts to know that we'll never enjoy her presence again.

i hope she knows. i hope she hears our hearts breaking because she's not here. i hope she sees how each one is filled with so much love for her. i hope she knows that she's given up a wake up call, that our time here on earth is limited, so do as much as you can with the time you have and say to each one of your loved ones how much you adore them. i hope she knows that with this revealed knowledge, we will gain the strength to go on. and as we move towards our futures, her spirit remains in our minds and in our hearts.

i was never given a chance to say goodbye. so, audri, thank you. thank you for your friendship. i never got a chance to say how much i value it but i do. for one last time, goodbye. i'll miss you.